Do you feel confident in helping someone you care about get help for their mental health? Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but often the person asking can feel overwhelmed, awkward, worried, or like they don't really need or deserve help. Get this though - that first step is the hard part, everything after that becomes a bit easier.
That’s why when you Notice Changes in a person's behaviour, emotions, study habits or health, it’s important you Reach Out and Act. That conversation can sometimes mean the difference between a person seeking help or not. We've outlined some simple steps to help you have those conversations safely.
Notice Changes
Learn the signs that indicate that you or someone you know needs some help and support.
Behaviour
- Unusual patterns of behaviour
- Avoidance of tasks or responsibilities
- Withdrawing socially/verbally/emotionally
- Neglecting self-care
- Agitated or excessively demanding interaction with others
- Excessive/uncharacteristic use of alcohol or other drugs
- An increase in impulsive behaviour
- Increased risk-taking behaviour
- Talking of suicide or violent acts towards self and/or others
- Taking about plans/action toward suicidal intent or self harm
Emotions
- Being tearful
- Sighing frequently
- Appearing vague
- Seeming confused
- Experiencing high levels of anxiety or having panic attacks
- Unpredictable expression of anger
- Displaying agitation
- Thoughts or speech patterns that seem pressured or odd
- Sustained depressed mood
- Sustained irritability
- Frequent expressions of negativity
Study Habits and Uni engagement
- A marked change in concentration/academic/workplace performance
- Increased occasions of uncompleted academic tasks or neglect of personal responsibilities
- Loss of motivation
- Academic failure
Physical Health
- Looking pale, perspiring excessively, having breathing difficulties
- Fainting or loss of consciousness
- Muscular spasms
- Obvious intense pain, extreme fatigue
- Complaining of sleep problems or falling asleep in unexpected circumstances
- Regular episodes of illness, colds, flu, etc.
If you are concerned about your physical health, contact the UNSW Health Service.
Reach Out
Prepare yourself for the conversation and reach out and offer help.
Prepare
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Consider your own wellbeing and capacity to support someone else with theirs.
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Decide on a good time and place to reach out to them, somewhere where they can relax and open up without others listening.
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Think about changes in their behaviour you have observed and how to compassionately express your concerns.
Reach out
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Ask them how they are.
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Use open-ended questions like “what’s been going on for you?” or “how have you been feeling lately?”.
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If they say they are fine, you can check by saying “it’s just you don’t seem your usual self recently”.
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It can be helpful to mention any changes that you have noticed, for example “I have noticed you haven’t been coming to XXX recently, is there a reason you haven’t been attending?” or “I’ve noticed you look / seem XXX more lately, is everything ok? I’m worried about you.”
Listen
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Give them space and time to open up. Use minimal prompts if they are struggling, such as “it’s okay, I know this is hard, take your time.”
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Consider your body language and eye contact.
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Try not to jump in and ‘solve’ their problems.
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Find out how long they have been feeling this way and if they have been getting any help.
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Hear from Empathy Researcher Brene Brown on how to provide empathetic support.
Act
Connect them to the support they need.
- Reassure them that help is available and getting help early means they will feel better quicker.
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Ask them what has helped in the past.
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Make suggestions of UNSW or external services that can help, giving them control of what happens next.
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Explain how they can access these services and offer to help them make an appointment.
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Find out if they have any supportive friends or family that they might want to talk to.
Mental Health Connect is the best place to start for mental health support at UNSW
What if they don’t want to access help?
- Everyone has the right to refuse help if they don’t want it – unless they are in crisis*.
- Find out why and correct any misinformation that is acting as a barrier (e.g. information on free services if they are worried about cost).
- Continue to encourage them without nagging.
- Check back in again after a few days.
Self-care
Good job! You have reached out to someone you are worried about and had the conversation, now it’s time to care for YOU!
- Even if the conversation didn’t go as you had hoped, you will have still shown the person that you care and want to help.
- Make sure you take time to self-care and look after your own wellbeing.
- Contact Mental Health Connect if you think your own mental health has been impacted.
Triple Zero (000)
If you or someone you are with is in immediate danger please call 000, or go to your nearest hospital emergency department immediately.
LifeLine
Crisis support and suicide prevention, 24/7. Call 13 11 14 now.
Mental Health Line
If you or someone you know needs help, the Mental Health Line offers professional help and advice, and referrals to local mental health services.